How to Kick About the Embers of a Dead Marriage

If hitchhiking gets easier once every vaccinated trucker is a raging narcissist discoursing upon his data package; his pornographic subscriptions, e.g. ‘Blacked.com;’ his latencies; his truck stop shower aversion, no consequences of latencies, but rather the rattiness of the rentable towels, and how he keeps his own towel in the rear of his cab, but it never dries properly so he uses the Husky towels anyway, then manipulatively commiserate that yes, $16.99 is excessively dear for the Husky’s ‘hamburger steak’ when the hamburg in question is no steak but just the dried frozen fecal product used for their corporately-dehumanizing banquet burgers and Mexicasa burgers supreme and etc.

One: If A* path-finding algorithm heuristics you on home, Emily will greet you, “Where have you been I’ve been looking all over Canada for you putting up posters so my hair started falling out I’ve been so worried. ”

Two: Pile wood for the wood stove in the front foyer, i.e. ‘Ain’t I a stinker. ’ Hug this apparition of Emily. Do not inquire regarding Marcel_Proust’s absence. Cut a lengthy promo on the unsustainability of experience. If Emily’s apparition has yet to experience personality disorder or plague, she will find your speaking dubious.

Three: Inform Emily that narcissism is the worst affliction yet. Notice with displeasure her flowing tears. Fail to manifest empathy. Manifest only concepts of supposed to do and supposed to look, of how to affect empathy in order to regain lost esteem.

Four: If all your life’s action can now be understood as validation seeking, understand that you’ve never once acted altruistically, you have only performed altruistic acts. Experience a vacuum of vacancy that no benzodiazepam or ethyl-benzene inhalation can fill or suck through. Fear that even your eternal longing for Catherine was an act of narcissism: a gamma male entitlement to perfect love. Contemplate the fraudulence of your autostereogrammatic revelating, knowing that no Narc can access the Noumena, be it Fanged or teleological. Read up on your subject. Find apt the following quote from Narcissism: Denial of True Self by Alexander Lowen, “When the curtain falls upon an act, it is finished and forgotten. The emptiness of such a life is beyond imagination. ”101

Five: If Emily remains other-directed as ever and simply wants to help, listen as she recounts all she’s found from You- Tube’s NARC support groups. Resent being called a “narc” by a monetized YouTube personality. Consider specious 101 (Lowen, 1983) the anti-narc community’s claim they’ve “been raped on a soul level. ” Resent all the anti-Narc superstar Dr. Ramania Durvusala videos in your inbox. Ask of Emily, “How is this Ramania fiend not perceived as a narc herself? Fuckin’ narcs man. ” Ask of Dr. Ramania’s recorded image, “Just what am I supposed to do? What are all we narcissists supposed to do? Go jump in a lake? You’re the narc, you quack!” Ask Dr. Ramani’s recorded image if she’s read much of the oftencogent Jacques Derrida: There is not narcissism and non-narcissism. There are narcissisms that are more or less comprehensive, generous, open, extended. What is called non-narcissism is in general but the economy of a much more welcoming and hospitable narcissism. One that is much more open to the experience of the Other as Other. I believe that without a movement of narcissistic reappropriation, the relation to the Other would be absolutely destroyed. It would be destroyed in advance. The relation to the Other, even if it remains asymmetrical, open, without possible reappropriation must trace a movement of reappropriation in the image of one’s self for love to be possible. Love is narcissistic. 102

Six: If the narcisphere caters only to narc victims and victims-awaiting narcs, create a competing website, http:// whatexactlyisanarctodo.wordpress.com. 102 (Derrida, 1995)

Seven: Feel mildly vindicated by Kristen Bombek’s refutal of what she calls this “narciscript, ” particularly her observation that, “the bad boyfriend is the narcisphere’s favourite villain. ”103

Eight: If unbated by this Bombekian anti-narcisphere polemic Emily other-directedly YouTubes Kohut and Kernberg and The Narcissist You Know and Living in the Age of Entitlement, balk condescendingly at the consensus treatment for NPD: the old therapy/SSRI combo.

Nine: Dissert how SSRIs are largely responsible for this age of entitlement. Explain why the Burger King dullard is possessed of a lot of unlikely wisdom to go along with your Impossible Whopper. Refer to primate studies wherein primates given SSRIs rise atop the dominance hierarchy such that the previously-vital unmedicated apes grow depressed and cowering. Ask if that’s the answer the medical model is so proud of. Mention SSRIs being largely incapable of beating placebo while offering a laundry list of side effects ranging from brain zaps to increased depression and increased suicidality right up to rampageous near-daily delights of mass slaughter. Essay a sardonic, “Lol. ”

Ten: If Emily hugs you and wisely plays the song Time by Tom Waits, a song that played when first you learned to love Emily, feel some of that love again, even if the love is just a validation of your own love-inducing characteristics, a Tucker Maxian and appalling love of the mirror, of the effect you can produce in the other, the validation of being someone else’s 103 (Bombek, 2016) loved other. Try to let “the things you can’t remember tell the things you can’t forget. ”104 104 (Waits, 1985)