Surveillance Techniques for Novices

If pinhole imagery of Tim Raval’s daily life offers entertainment value equivalent to late-stage reality television, i.e. ‘none whatsoever, ’ then be well-stocked with chips, cured meats, and the odd inhalant, e.g. ‘Britannica’s nail polish remover, ’ to keep despondency at bay.

One: Gaze upon Tim Raval’s bedroom ceiling for hours. Inhale polish fumes. Issue insights on the eternally-blank pallet preceding creation. Misquote DeLillo.

Two: Historicize Tim’s version of the ‘old gang’ greeting him in the St. Mary’s Collegiate parking lot. Here are Tim’s deathless contemporaries, the crux of any A1 gang being its contemporaneousness. Should Tim Raval approach Ron Saunders, he of the unfortunate capris pants, fifteen years hence, and shout, “Remember that Monday we joked in the parking lot thinking it the most casual thing in the world, when really it was a miracle of understanding we’d never achieve again in adulthood; I don’t mean me and you, Ron, I mean all of us in search of brothers, all of us lost men, ” then Ron Saunders’s would respond in typical NPC Use Case fashion, “Good times, eh, bud, ” before rushing towards a fistful of Labatt 50s that will never quell the exchange’s awkwardness nor Ron’s concomitant thirst for brotherhood.

Three: Spiral down YouTube’s after-school Satanic Panic rabbit hole with new friend Tim. Revisit classics: Geraldo’s well-noted fear-mongering. Nikolas Schreck and Zeena (Anton’s daughter) Lavey on Sally Jesse Raphael. This same It Couple then condescending to a cable access interview with Tim Metzger. A pin-camera’s wobble as Tim nods approvingly from his progressive perch alongside Schreck’s snide assertions. Watch Tim bound righteously from bed to laptop like a babe to the breast of Tim Metzger’s YouTube channel before realizing Tim Metzger was de-platformed for having Grand Wizarded the Klu Klux Klan.

Four: Realize the Metzger-Schreck dialectic is yet more of Strauss and Howe’s cyclical saeculum—Schreck’s rejection of Metzger’s awful values as seemingly noble to Schreck as your own oppositional-defiance towards Kidz Kwik Reference Guides now seems to you the Sault-situated grief blogger.

Five: As Ravals dine on braised mutton, zoom upon the bronze sheen to Alan’s wife, Patricia. Resent Alan’s success with the ladies. Wonder if you don’t have a concept album or two up your sleeve. Pick at nostril polish encrustations as Alan announces a family visit to known accomplice Rob Dagg at the hospital, i.e. ‘K, time to concentrate. ’

Six: If Dagg suffers from malaise, fatigue, and jaundice, all brought about by acute Hepatitis C, which has advanced into late-stage Cirrhosis, understand that Rob Dagg has committed another insult, this time to his liver, leading to sclerosis and then necrosis, 90% of hepatic function loss, and a fastencroaching pallid death. If an exceedingly-confident bald man says to Dagg, “We’re pulling for ya, bud!” know that only a true believer in his own gimmick could lack so much tact at a cirrhotic death bed.

Seven: “Why do we have to keep seeing that yellow old bum?” – progressive Tim Raval, in car-ride home.

Eight: “I owe the guy. ” – Alan Raval.

Nine: And then, with a patronizingly-benign glance ( i.e. ‘I-Alan-Raval am so very wise’) back at his son, “Loyalty. ”

Ten: Scrawl illegible interview questions for Rob “The Dagger” Dagg (a high school nickname based upon three point shooting- rather than decapitational-acumen). Have Britannica trace over these napkin questions to preserve any insight retrieved from beneath the skein of space and time made accessible only by inhalants.

2 COMMENTS ON “SURVEILLANCE TECHNIQUES FOR NOVICES” Alavida Alcohol Reduction Bot: Here, you can tap into a vast evidence-based universe of fresh health knowledge created and curated by doctors and therapists experienced in alcohol addiction. With Alavida, you can learn about other ways to change your relationship with alcohol, where drinking less is also success. Reply: Thomas Astaire: Domi arigato! Pool and pathetically layer learn this, Dr. Roboto: you don’t drink Varsol, you inhale it.