How to Backfoot A Deconstructionist While Reterritorializing God’s Name and Tabernacle

One: Observe exactly how the battle was surrendered as the minister drones, “the children of Habaiai, the children of Kox, the children of Barzillai…. ”

Two: Count only three old ladies in the 500-person capacity faith-venue, exactly one old lady more than is needed for God to be in their midst.

Three: Experience an absence of liturgical zeal. Merely some collared old closet character offering a mealy-mouthed social justice message significantly offset by his Church’s position that homosexuality is the direct result of a ‘broken, ’ ‘sinful world. ’65

Four: If a hymnal-tucked pamphlet informs you the bored Knight of Infinite Resignation of Reformed Church cornerstones such as the Belgic Confession, the Heidelberg Catechism, and the Canons of Dort, fall asleep for a moment or two. 65 (Heynen, et al., 1973)

Five: Agree with the Weird Christians invented by the New York Times66 that some incense and organs and etc. could go a long way towards pulling this intolerant snooze-fest out of the fire.

Six: If an embedded NYT link leads to the Buzzfeed article “Weird Christian Punk Masses Are Traditional AF. And That’s A Good Thing” learn that these trad Latin masses incorporate Elizabethan language, prayers from the “O.G. ” American Breviary, and as much incense as can legally be released in an enclosed environ, all while remaining “hella variant from modernity. ” Concede to Donna that this “bells and smells” trend is undoubtably sexier than Dort’s Canon; however, refuse to accept that the latest whims of authenticity-starved Brooklynites can be commensurate to the grace found in Jumbo’s Clown Room, as that would mean you’re no revelator, only another contrarian vulture chewing at the hash-tagged carrion of the postmodern.

Seven: If Merle smells blood in the water, he will sidle up to you with his well-thumbed Simulacra and Simulation and whisper-quote, What becomes of the divinity when it reveals itself in icons, when it is simply incarnated in images as a visible theology? Or does it volatilize itself in the simulacra that, alone, deploy their power and pomp of fascination - the visible machinery of icons substituted for the pure and intelligible Idea of God? 67 66 (Burton, 2020) 67 (Baudrillard, 1994)

Eight: Remind Merle that his non-lycanthropic buddy Jacques Derrida, who was ill- “prepared to descend into such overenthusiastic crudity as examining more than one of Heidegger’s words in a single book, ”68 believed meaning to reside in the space between signs.

Nine: Ask Merle, “What if to the tune of How Great Thou Art someone sent, signified, and made specular these spaces between the signifiers?” And Hezekiah begat Erb; and Erb begat Michaia; and Michaia begat Jedidah, who begat Darge, who begat Larry; and Larry begat Ratso; and Ratso begat Bob, who wrote In the Garden and I Ain’t Gonna Go To Hell For Anybody and Gonna Change My Way of Thinkin’ and In the Summertime and Every Grain of Sand; and Bob begat Woody, who wrote Jesus Christ; and Woody begat Ronnie Blakely, an archetypal Charlotte; and Ronnie Blakey begat Young Werther; and Young Werther begat the green light at the end of Daisy’s dock, which begat Skrellman; and Skrellman begat Thomas; and Thomas begat maybe this voice, and this voice raised itself up “and cried with a loud voice, saying, Salvation to our God, which sitteth upon the throne […] saying, Amen” 69 and then for the heck of it this voice begat Deltonius; and Deltonius begat Dinky Dean and Tim and Ryu and Jaalopei and Barnabus and Meschach and 68 (Land, 2011) 69 (Revelations, 10-12) Zelpas and Slater and Angry Ray and Judith and Martha and Jethro and Tirza and Solomon and Seth and Saul and Deltron and Eunice and Hagar—Deltonius having enjoyed something of a good run, fertility-wise; and Dinky Dean begat Old Black Magic, the Jazz Trombonist; and Old Black Magic, the Jazz Trombonist begat Hokie Mokie, also a ’bone man; and Hokie Mokie begat Mrs. Mandible; and Mrs. Mandible begat The New Math; and The New Math begat the Python Programming Language, and the Python Programming Language was just a short walk from eye-icycling yet unimaginable in the coalgrey fires that await you in hell, Merle. ” Ask Merle, “What if a man of praxis like myself iconolates whatever feels fun to iconolate wherever two are gathered in His name? What could you do if we played your power games, punk?” Even if sensing victory, feel very tired.

Ten: Caught between the new preachers and the old, between Viacom’s business model and the visible machinery of Barzilai’s meaningless children, bid Merle adieu. Raise your good arm in only the mildest of threats when Merle spits upon your shoes. Wheel yourself over to San Julian where if no ethylbenzene, then surely by either grace of God or instantiation of the Serpent there’ll be some acetone or difluoroethane or hexane or naphtha or toluene or trichloromethane or xylene.