Ten Tips for Post-Facto Grieving the Death of Stacey Keats

If coping with the guilt and grief natural to any non-sociopath complicit in Murder Most Foul, here are ten tips for passing the buck on that.

One: Dance a joyful jig when The Sacred Executioner by Hyam Maccoby is available at the Toronto Public Library branch you squat at. Relate to Maccoby’s assertion that the sacred executioner is both sacred and “accursed, ” and that,

“such a person in myth is ejected from society and condemned to long wanderings. ”

Two: Take solace that in conjunction with being “accursed, ” you are at least also “sacred. ” Resign your personage to a life of long wanderings.

Three: But then if long wanderings seem a little labile so soon after losing Marcel_Proust, and how much worse can the Infernal Serpent possibly make things anyway, take up tenuous cudgels against the Adversary.

Four: If the cudgels invoke no cramping or boils, assign research librarians with a query of, “How to combat the Infernal Serpent’s forces manifested on earth. ”

Five: Should paucity result, librarians will advise search refinement, i.e. ‘Combat Satanic forces. ’

Six: If librarians weary of your desk-pounding urgency, find tips on battling Satanic forces from wild-eyed dispensationalist YouTubers instead.

Seven: Wonder how many of these characters even battle satanic forces and how many are contemptible loons.

Eight: Read The Crying of Lot 49 for the first time and retroactively understand your “Binarity Inverarity” pun.

Nine: No matter how defiled a man becomes in this world, it is important to have a purpose commensurate to life’s suffering! This tip goes beyond anti-Serpentine blogging and applies to all fields. Book thirty minutes of Internet time to replace the current cudgel barers by starting your own Satanic forces battling blog.

Ten: Feel a purpose not quite commensurate to your Marcel_Proustian loss. Wonder if purpose commensurate to loss will increase as you gain followers and remuneration for your new blog: http://www.wovrdpress. com/CanTheDevilSpeakTruev